All He Wrote

I work from two pm until ten pm five nights a week while Bob works more “normal hours” from seven until four. I often am asked if it feels like Bob and I are two passing ships in the night. My answer is that it doesn’t because we still talk to each other all day via email or instant messenger, and on Fridays Bob usually works from home.

On nights that I am working and after Matt is trucked into bed, Bob comes online and provides me with a witty, yet sometimes weary, recap of his and Matt’s night together. I have saved each one. In celebration of Father’s Day, below are some of my favorite moments he wrote about.

1 .We kicked the ball around the house and read his book about chameleons.

2. I dozed off (very briefly) and was awaken by Pirate Booty being shoved in my mouth.

3. Matt does the "HI-YA" karate chop to the monsters now too!

4. Matt was a bit of a handful tonight. "Mischievous" is how I would describe it.

5. It was cute though, when I read Mr. Brown Can Moo he was trying to make the buzzing sound but kept getting tongue tied and just sticking out his tongue.

6. He sat on my stomach and just chatted for about 10 minutes. I have no idea what he was talking about but I think he might have been telling me about his day. Once and while he would just giggle so maybe he was telling me a joke.

7. Matt just did a big fart. I am proud of him.

8. Matt has a new word: snow.

9. We went to the park and he wanted to ride on the swing the whole time. When I would try to take him out to do something different, he would tell me that he was "stuck" until I pushed him again.

10. He seems to be ok with dirt on his hands now too, I told him to just wipe it on his pants.

11. We got a phone call that said town of Holden on the caller ID. It was the Holden police, and they asked if we had a baby that was playing with the phone because someone called 911. I told them yes and apologized, and they asked if they could send an officer out to the house just to make sure everything was ok.

12. I tried a turkey burger and sweet potatoes with no success, so we eventually settled on 2 yogurt tubes. And he gnawed on some leftover watermelon that he found laying around somewhere.

13. Also from the Landmark: 7:25 p.m. 911 no response, noise of young child in background.

14. Then we played Bob The Builder and he sings the song now. It goes something like this "bo billo fix fix fix it”.

15. Matt did not enjoy cutting his fingernails but he needed it:it was like the scene in the 40-year-old virgin where they wax Steve Carrel's chest, and he screams and then calms down and tells them to do it again, then screams again. He would yell like I shot him, and run away, then come back onto the bed and stick his hand out over the trash barrel again.

16. We went back outside to set up the sprinkler and I told him to sit on the stairs while I turned it on, so he wouldn't get wet while I tested to see if it would shoot the right place. Well, I had the sprinkler backwards so when I turned it on it shot right at Matt!

17. After dinner, I told Matt he could help me install the DVD drive in the computer. "Let's go get the tools" I told him. He jumped up and down about 20 times shouting "We're going to get tools! We're going to get tools!"

18. I can't stop looking at him and thinking what a handsome little devil we made

19. He was all about letters and ABC's tonight, singing with Leapfrog.

20. Matt climbed out of the tub and ran to his bedroom before I even knew where he went.